WOAHHHH- that’s all i have to say. last night’s season premiere of real housewives of new jersey was absolutely out of control. i blogged about the return of rhonj last month, and here’s what i said:
“i just can’t wait for these women to get back! they are literally the craziest women ever- total wackos. trashy as eff. the upcoming season looks even trashier than the previous ones, if that’s even possible.”
i was DEFINITELY right about the new season being the trashiest yet! i’m not even sure what to say about it. i literally sat in my family room with my jaw on the floor. i wished soooooo badly that i had been with friends while i watched it, because i was actually talking to, and laughing at, the tv at points.

first of all, i’m so glad that danielle is gone. she really irritated me. she was actually psychotic. who brings body guards and the mafia to a country club?! she literally thought the other housewives were going to KILL her- that would never happen, obviously.
caroline is the same. i like her- she’s strong and very family-focused. i felt sad for her when albie and chris told her they were moving out, but it’s definitely time for them to do so- they’re a little old to still be living at home. caroline is a little boring, however. i wish she would get out of he house and go to some events! while i love caroline’s son chris (he’s HILARIOUS), i am NOT a fan of jacqueline’s daughter ashley. she is so dramatic and self-centered. she can’t get her act together enough to even go to work everyday. come on, ashley. and then crying at work? and the constant whining about her mom. it’s enough, ashley…

now we’re onto the new girls. first up, we have teresa’s cousin kathy. she’s fine- a little irritating, but i don’t have much to say about her- YET. i am already a little weirded out by her husband and daughter, however. her husband is a little creepy- he constantly talks about how “hot” he is for her. they’re a little old to be talking about that in public.
and last but not least, we have melissa… ohhhh melissa. the trashiest of the whole bunch. melissa is married to teresa’s brother, but she and teresa are more like enemies than sisters-in-law. they are in constant competition. what are they competing for though?! the brother/husband’s attention?! like a strange oedipus complex or something? on last night’s episode, melissa threw this gross christening that was simultaneously over-the-top and trashy. who does shots at their child’s christening?! and the music was questionable- they played those songs like “celebration.” there was a MASSIVE fight at the christening reception. i’m still not entirely sure why the fight happened, but evvvvveryone got involved. there was table banging, people knocked over, screaming 90-year old fathers, crying children, and just general DRAMA. you can watch a snippet here on people.com. it was straight up out of control.
you have GOT to go watch this show if you haven’t seen it yet. it’s the definition of a trainwreck.
xo charlotte