and mondays and wednesdays mean yoga class for me (charlotte)! a group of my sorority sistas and i are taking hatha yoga for our gym class. our class is… interesting, to say the least.
first of all, the instructor is a guy. and he’s not like a man. he’s like a 20 year old boy. do normal 20 year old boys do yoga? ehh, debatable. he breathes extremely loudly and even chants occasionally. my sisters and i are constantly biting our lips to stop from laughing. we canNOT look at each other during yoga, or we will collapse in a fit of laughter. the instructor is very intense about yoga, treating it like it’s his lifestyle. he claims to have been doing it for 12 years. not too sure how an 8 year old boy got started doing yoga, but whatevs, no judgement there…
on that note, he thinks we’re WAY more advanced than we are. the first week of class was super easy and everyone could follow along and do all the poses, so i think that really boosted his confidence. he’s overcompensated for that easiness and has decided to make the class like a full on advanced level. plow? ehh, we can try. crow? nbd. headstands? sure no prob. like, this is a GYM class at a school. this is not an ashram in india.
which brings me to the absolute worst part of my yoga class: the showoff bitches in the front row. they think they are hot shit and want everyone to know it. they make modifications to every.single.pose. these girls always have to take the poses like 8 levels above everyone else. cool girls, i could do those modifications too. i just don’t because nobody likes a show off. plus, if i wanted to practice my own yoga and do poses that the teacher wasn’t even demonstrating, i would stay in my room and do yoga by myself. even worse, these girls CORRECT other people in the class. “open your arms more.” “twist further.” “take it into a bind.” ugh! nothing is worse than a show off who isn’t satisfied with just demonstrating her superiority; apparently correcting everyone else to bring them down further is the new thing. oh, and the funny thing? these girls are ugly and weird. i’m talking like brown, frizzy hair, and no cute yoga clothes in sight. $50 these girls have never even heard of lululemon.
to quote naomi from 90210, “namaste, bitches.” off to yoga, (in lululemons of course)!
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