monday morning

my dream, obvs.

xo charlotte

typical

so this is going to be another post about boys…SORRY!!!! it seems that all my posts revolve around boys…and food. probably because those are the two main loves of my life (pathetic, i know.) this post has been inspired by the fact that i have been watching a lot of movies and tv lately. (also pathetic, i know.) but some eye candy that i’ve been ogling lately:

colin egglesfield, 38, from “something borrowed”

look at those gorgeous eyes GAHH i die. my favorite hair and eye color combo…SOOOO hot.

Chord Overstreet, 22, from “glee”

much more age appropriate, but just as gorgeous. that justin bieber hair (yes, i still have bieber fever!) those eyes. those lips. and even sexier…HE SINGS. i wish he would sing me to sleep at night…too bad he’s dating taylor swift (but hopefully she will be writing an angry song about him soon…)

rob kardashian, 24, he’s a kardashian.

he might be a douchebag but he’s still a hot dbag! kind of also not doing anything with his life and mooching off his sisters, but he still has time before i’d actually say he’s a “loser.”besides,  he gets paid to party..so jealous. plus his tattoo sleeves are soooo sexy. something about sleeves that i looove.

and last but not least….

SAILORS, any age, us navy

or any man serving his country (and dressed in uniform lol) perfect timing too, cus it’s fleet week!!! and you bet that the three of us shall be heading to the city to creep on these hotties ;)

can’t wait,

Mary

guess what i did today!!

i fed orphaned baby squirrels and orphaned baby rabbits with a syringe :) it was a lot cooler than it sounds, lol. so anyway, today was my first day of my internship at a wildlife rehab center and i had a great time! even though it’s kinda far from my house (over an hour drive) i realized this is totally worth it because i LOVE animals, and i realized i definitely want to pursue an animal-care related path. i thought that i was going to be cleaning cages or something just as unappealing before i got there but the first thing i did was taught how to catch the baby squirrels from their cages, hold them in a washcloth, and feed them formula until they didn’t want anymore. and omg i died..they were ADORABLE (even though some of them kept pooping on me..yuck). this is not me, but this pic is exactly what it looked like (except i had to put them in a washcloth because rabbit pee can carry a virus that is dangerous to humans):

i also got to see a fox with rabies that was going to have to be put down (sad), orphaned fox kits, orphaned raccoons, and a muskrat that was being released in the wild today! i’m not allowed to touch any of these animals unless i get my rabies vaccinations though (for legit reasons). after just one day of working there, i have so much respect for the woman that runs it. she is a saint. there is basically no other words to describe her. she takes care of these animals, 24/7. i was only there from 11-4, and fed the animals once. she has to feed ALL the animals, and since they’re babies, 3-4 times a day. she had already fed them breakfast a couple hours before i arrived, and later tonight she has to feed them all again. there are over 30 baby squirrels, raccoons, fox, and oppossums!! pretty soon, she said a bunch of baby deer (fawn) are going to need taking care of! (i can’t wait!) in addition, she has to take care of her own family — cooking breakfast and dinner! i don’t know how she does it because after one day, i’m exhausted. she is actually amazing…

in addition, there was another boy who had stopped by to drop off a baby raccoon that someone had brought into the animal hospital that he worked at. he was not my type, but there was just something about him. he was built, with shoulder-length hair, and tattoos on both his arms…kind of reminded me of a character from grease, like a stereotypical “bad boy”. if i didn’t know him i would think he was one of those boys who liked to torture animals for fun. super quiet. but watching him feed the baby squirrels…it was almost magical. (totally serious right now). he was SO sweet with them and talked to some of them.  i think i fell in love. after talking to him i found out he wanted to be a vet, and that he even takes care of wild baby animals in his home, and one of the adult squirrels at the rehab center was actually one that he saved and raised(now i ACTUALLY fell in love!) i don’t even know him but watching him take care of  the animals was just…SO HOT. apparently he doesn’t come around that often since he works full-time at the hospital, but hopefully he will be in the next two months…

and can i just say NOTHING beats driving down the highway blasting taylor swift with the windows down and the sun shining…i couldn’t get the smile off my face :) i’m going back tomorrow morning too…can’t wait!!!!

-Mary

in honor of m’s post

i’ve realized something traumatic after reading m’s post. no, not that i won’t see my family for 5 months while i’m in australia but that  i will NOT be in here for the last harry potter movie (or m’s 20th bday!!)

HEDWIG..just kiddin’, hedwig’s dead. but seriously…THIS IS NOT OKAY. i love harry potter and daniel radcliffe even though he’s a midget (i saw his you-know-what in equus..it was kinda disturbing, not gonna lie) and ron weasley is my favorite ginger hands down.  i’m genuinely upset by this realization…HP was also a big part of my life. they’re my favorite books (esp 4, 6 & 7..i HATE 5!) which is funny because the first 3 times i tried  to read the sorceror’s stone i couldn’t even finish the first chapter. and i can’t believe i’m going to miss HP7. but it’s also weird to think that i’ve grown up at the same time as the actors in the movie. it’s weird to think that i’ve grown up as much as they have:

even neville longbottom (matthew lewis) is  HOT as long as he keeps his mouth closed is HOT. (he IS british though..enough said)

oh gosh, i remember when neville was just this chubby little nerd (this is also what people probably said about me in middle school too) and now he’s SEXY (again, minus the teeth..i’m really a teeth person. i like boys with nice teeth. teeth can really be a dealbreaker.)

anyway i’m going to try to figure out if harry potter comes out in Australia because if it doesn’t i’m not going to get to see the movie til the end of november :(

-Mary

please excuse me for being emo today

“There’s someone in her past that she hasn’t gotten over yet.
Each day is like the last and she misses what she can’t forget.
It’s just an empty space where something used to be.
Now she guards the gate, but she’s lost the key.
No one enters, but no one leaves.”

Mary

boys BOys yum yUm

so i like boys…A LOT. i mean what girl doesn’t? (excluding lesbians, that is.) if you’re like me, i started noticing the male race in about first grade where i loved this little japanese friend in my class named kokoro (LOL) i remember i had the BIGGEST crush on him, and then in fourth grade on this chinese kid named derrick. i remember getting so excited to talk to him on AIM when i got my first screenname, azngrkgrl (LOL), and used to wait for him to sign on every single night. this is really ironic though, because ever since i actually hit puberty i don’t find any asian boys attractive and i don’t know why. i’m not racist, they are just not my cup o’ tea. even the good looking ones don’t do it for me–i see they’re good looking, but i am NOT attracted to them at all. so this got me thinking, how has my taste in boys changed over the years? I remember having my first celebrity crush at age 8 and have completely new ones now, so i thought i’d give you the rundown:

Mary, age 8 – got my first n*sync CD and LOVED jc…i even had a doll of him (not creepy at all…)

Mary, age 13 – real boys didn’t cut it anymore. my dream was to become an elf and marry legolas from lord of the rings. my love for legolas was so strong i dedicated a whole wall of my room to him (which included the poster below) so i could stare at him every night before i went to bed and could wake up and see his face in the morning. i even tried to learn how to speak elvish for a couple weeks…please don’t judge me.

mary, age 13.5 – realized legolas was not a real person, and the closest i could get to him would be through the person who plays him, orlando bloom. hence, my obsession with legolas evolves to orlando bloom, which is slightly more realistic (aka not at all). best scene ever is when he is practically naked in troy…unfortunately they did not show the goodies…what a tease. he was also pretty drool-worthy in pirates. my dreams were crushed after i read in a magazine that orlando “had a thing” for girls with blonde hair and blue eyes :(

mary, age 16 – after i watched she’s the man and step up, i could not stop thinking about channing tatum (even though he sometimes reminds me of a gorilla). i mean he just LOOKS delicious….so jealous of jenna dewan (his WIFE), that lucky bitch

mary, age 17 – like every other girl in the world, after reading all four twilight books within a week i developed a crush on edward cullen and jacob black…at the same time…no team edward or team jacob for me. i was team threesome. (i hope no one is homophobic and gets offended by this pic..if you do..chill out! its a joke!) btw, once upon a time i made a boy read twilight out loud to me and he did it…what a tool hehe.

mary, age 19.5 – wait for it, wait for it…..

BABY BABY BABY PLEEEASEE OH BABY..what i would do to be his one less lonely girl. haha JUST KIDDING. i’m not THAT creepy and pedofileish. i mean i’m probably twice the size of him–NOT attractive.

in reality, i have found a ton of hottie (age-appropriate) celeb crushies like garett hedlund (omg i died watching tron) and ryan kwanten who SHOULD be a vampire in true blood because he is THAT sexaayy.

However for some reason, throughout the last five years, ever since watching Jackass and Jackass 2 (which happen to be some of my favorite movies) my love for johnny knoxville has prevailed. no matter how old he gets i think he is one of the sexiest guys…ever. it might be his faux-hawk, his signature aviators, how he has his daughter’s name tattooed on his chest over his heart, his voice, his sense of humor or all of this combined. i just find him SO sexy, even though a lot of girls do not agree.

please don’t judge me on my taste (or lack of) of boys but i’m sure you have had your share of secret (or not so secret) weird obsessions. but seriously…

pCe bitches.
Mary

my new obsession

MAC MILLER

his dance moves are SOOOOOOO cute:

this one’s my fave:

perfect stoner music:

he might be like the new sam adams but he is by far a better rapper and he’s blowing up fast….for good reason too, his lyrics are pretty legit and his beats are just relaxing. he reminds me of a leprachaun but if you’re into that kinda thing i’m sorry to inform you he’s taken by his high school sweetheart…how cute is that??? i wonder how long that’ll last though…

pce out,

Mary

Ode to the nice guys

“This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.”

–Wharton Undergraduate Journal

nice guys are so underrated.

Mary

 

nowhere to hide

the great thing about our school is that no matter where you go, at any time of the day, you will see someone you know well enough to sit down and eat a meal with. the worst thing about our school? there is nowhere to hide.

somehow it always happens that on the one day of the week you wake up too late, don’t have time to shower, can’t even fathom putting together a cute outfit, and feel like you’re not going to make it through the day without passing out, you see the one person whose opinion you care about.  whether its an awkward hookup from last week, month, or year, chances are you will see him/her on this type of day.  there is no escaping at this school that seems to keep getting smaller and smaller.

if you’re doing something EXTREMELY awkward with your friends while imitating a truly awkward person, there is a 100% chance that the person at school who you’d like to believe that you are actually cool will be watching.  now instead of thinking “wow i love that girl, she’s so awesome”, he’ll be thinking “wtf is that girl doing and who are her crazy friends?”.  you might be thinking “we were just imitating!”, but they will never have that information, will they?

another classic is when you’re scanning your classroom for the clock the first week of classes when you realize that it looks like you’re actually just staring at the boy with the hat in the second row.  once you realize how the situation looks you quickly avert your gaze.  what you don’t realize though is that by doing this you make it look even MORE suspicious, and now this guy is either flattered or extremely creeped out.  you can interpret that one however you’d like.  the fun part is that you get to worry about where you’re looking for the rest of the semester to ensure that you don’t make the same mistake.

ever since i started college, the word awkward has become a centerpiece of my every day vernacular.  whether it’s an intense wipeout or dropping all of your plates and silverware at the dining hall in the aisle by the drinks machine where everyone can see, we all have had experiences with awkward moments.

but hey, braving the awkward interactions makes us stronger…right?

xx m

yum

what’s cookin’ good-lookin??? (yea…i know i’m a loser, it’s mary btw!).speaking of yummy things, we went to dino bbq today and it was AH-MAZING..i ate sooo much that i turned into a veggie and couldn’t move for five hours…had to curl up in a ball on my bed until i went from feeling as if i was going to explode to feeling slightly uncomfortable. the food was totally worth the pain though. i highly recommend skipping the ribs though and getting a bunch of chicken wings instead…oh and ALOT of sides. all the sides i tried (cornbread, fries, lobster bisque and mac&cheese (and i don’t even like mac&chz) were SOO good..yeah i know i’m morbidly obese don’t judge). drool over the menu at http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com/ oh and go at an awkward hour…we got there at 2:30 and only had to wait 10 min as opposed to the 1.5 hour wait if we got there at 5! but anyway, the yum i was referring to was in the boy kind…those delicious, sexayy boys…me, m and char have VERY different taste in boys which is actually very convenient because we never have to fight over them ;) of course, there are those universally attractive male specimens that just have great genes and no one can deny their obvious good looks but we usually agree to disagree on how hot we think a boy is.

i like the stereotypical alternative boy characterized by awkwardness, edgy fashion taste, and a passion for music, skateboarding etc. (just for the record, this is different from emo boys…i do not find scene/emo/goth boys attractive at all!!)

of course my muscles are usually bigger than the ones these boys have and i can barely get one of my legs into their skinny jeans but i can’t help what i’m attracted to…anyway, these boys do not exist at my school so in the meantime i have to settle for anything i can get…

my roommate char does NOT find alternative dressed boys attractive at all…instead she likes the stereotypical waspy, preppy, polo-wearing, preppy fratboy from connecticut with a name like tucker, hunter, or carter that comes with the bmw and lacrosse stick in-hand:

these boys are everywhere at my school…so char is basically in heaven here

 

m on the otherhand does not really discriminate in dress, but in coloring…her type is easy to spot in a second: tall, dark and handsome…or in one word: jewish. any jewish boy who is not hideous is her type. sorry, i meant any boy who LOOKS jewish is her type. (he doesn’t actually need to be a jew-hottie) basically curly brown hair, brown eyes and a distinct nose:

fortunately for m, there are TONS of brunettes and jews all over campus…

let’s get down to business though…if you see any tall, gawky, skinny-jean wearing boy that is somewhat cute and semi-funny (and might have yellow-fever)…help a sista out and give him my number!!! btw, this is a joke just so you know…i’m not THAT desperate (but actually if a boy like this exists on campus hook me up!!!)

btw if you happen to “be the exception” (in the words of he’s just not that into you) and happen to have a boyfriend at school I HATE YOU teach me your secrets!!!