boys BOys yum yUm

6 Apr

so i like boys…A LOT. i mean what girl doesn’t? (excluding lesbians, that is.) if you’re like me, i started noticing the male race in about first grade where i loved this little japanese friend in my class named kokoro (LOL) i remember i had the BIGGEST crush on him, and then in fourth grade on this chinese kid named derrick. i remember getting so excited to talk to him on AIM when i got my first screenname, azngrkgrl (LOL), and used to wait for him to sign on every single night. this is really ironic though, because ever since i actually hit puberty i don’t find any asian boys attractive and i don’t know why. i’m not racist, they are just not my cup o’ tea. even the good looking ones don’t do it for me–i see they’re good looking, but i am NOT attracted to them at all. so this got me thinking, how has my taste in boys changed over the years? I remember having my first celebrity crush at age 8 and have completely new ones now, so i thought i’d give you the rundown:

Mary, age 8 – got my first n*sync CD and LOVED jc…i even had a doll of him (not creepy at all…)

Mary, age 13 – real boys didn’t cut it anymore. my dream was to become an elf and marry legolas from lord of the rings. my love for legolas was so strong i dedicated a whole wall of my room to him (which included the poster below) so i could stare at him every night before i went to bed and could wake up and see his face in the morning. i even tried to learn how to speak elvish for a couple weeks…please don’t judge me.

mary, age 13.5 – realized legolas was not a real person, and the closest i could get to him would be through the person who plays him, orlando bloom. hence, my obsession with legolas evolves to orlando bloom, which is slightly more realistic (aka not at all). best scene ever is when he is practically naked in troy…unfortunately they did not show the goodies…what a tease. he was also pretty drool-worthy in pirates. my dreams were crushed after i read in a magazine that orlando “had a thing” for girls with blonde hair and blue eyes :(

mary, age 16 – after i watched she’s the man and step up, i could not stop thinking about channing tatum (even though he sometimes reminds me of a gorilla). i mean he just LOOKS delicious….so jealous of jenna dewan (his WIFE), that lucky bitch

mary, age 17 – like every other girl in the world, after reading all four twilight books within a week i developed a crush on edward cullen and jacob black…at the same time…no team edward or team jacob for me. i was team threesome. (i hope no one is homophobic and gets offended by this pic..if you do..chill out! its a joke!) btw, once upon a time i made a boy read twilight out loud to me and he did it…what a tool hehe.


mary, age 19.5 – wait for it, wait for it…..

BABY BABY BABY PLEEEASEE OH BABY..what i would do to be his one less lonely girl. haha JUST KIDDING. i’m not THAT creepy and pedofileish. i mean i’m probably twice the size of him–NOT attractive.

in reality, i have found a ton of hottie (age-appropriate) celeb crushies like garett hedlund (omg i died watching tron) and ryan kwanten who SHOULD be a vampire in true blood because he is THAT sexaayy.

However for some reason, throughout the last five years, ever since watching Jackass and Jackass 2 (which happen to be some of my favorite movies) my love for johnny knoxville has prevailed. no matter how old he gets i think he is one of the sexiest guys…ever. it might be his faux-hawk, his signature aviators, how he has his daughter’s name tattooed on his chest over his heart, his voice, his sense of humor or all of this combined. i just find him SO sexy, even though a lot of girls do not agree.

please don’t judge me on my taste (or lack of) of boys but i’m sure you have had your share of secret (or not so secret) weird obsessions. but seriously…

pCe bitches.
Mary

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