24 Feb

it’s kind of freaking me out that people are actually clicking one of the links on facebook and reading this blog because this proves that people actually read their newsfeed (too bad we can’t see who you are!) you’re probably one of charlotte’s 12903247897 facebook friends because i only have 580, proving that i am socially inept (according to her.) i would have more except i deleted over 300 friends last year because a) i’m weird and b) i creep myself out. i decided to do this last year when i was just casually thinking about my facebook habits. i’m a big facebook stalker surfer. last year i probably averaged about three hours a day. (Since i’ve gotten my blackberry i’ve cut it down to like 15 min tho!) my surfing has gotten so bad that i sometimes look at people’s profile who i don’t know and read all their wall posts and look at their pictures from five years ago. tthis sometimes becomes a problem because then i feel like i know the person, when i don’t. two winters ago, a boy i recognized came into my work and i was about to say “Hey Pat!” when i realized i did not know him, nor had i ever even seen him in real life. But I thought I did because he had commented on a mutual friends status and I had thorougly stalked his profile…oops. basically, I’M A CREEP. which got me wondering…i can’t be the only one cus everyone has a little creep curiosity in them. So who’s looking at my profile is the question? 800 facebook friends is a lot…especially when i probably only talk to about 50 of them (this might be an overestimation). 800 people can see my pics! my status updates! my wall! that is 800 people who can look at my facebook and find out about my life (except no one cares about my life) or in reality more like judge me for any pictures or comments on my facebook. i basically creeped myself out by thinking of all the people who could potentially be creeping on my facebook (except this is a little presumptuous because i don’t know any weirdos who would stalk my profile but the thought of it was still creepy). sooooo IT WAS TIME FOR A FACEBOOK CUT!!! i vowed to get my friend list to 500 which meant 300 people had to go. if you’re still my friend, congrats you made the cut! That means you are a) either a family member (except my mom), b) a friend, c) a former friend, d) a good friend of one of my good friends e) a hot guy or f) someone who I like to stalk regularly and/or live vicariously through. And it was kind of sad, not gunna lie, because everytime I clicked the ‘defriend’ button I felt a little satisfaction, like there goes one more person who could’ve potentially been looking at my facebook and laughing at my pictures! and yes, people do laugh at pictures because me and my bff have a continuous thread called ‘why the eff haven’t they untagged this/what were they thinking?’ so anyway, 300 less friends later, i felt relieved…until i got a friend request a week later from someone i had deleted. AWKWARD. and this is when i learned you cannot delete people from your facebook. it just makes you look like the biggest d-bag, especially when they know you were friends with them. and i realized, it doesn’t matter if people creep on my facebook…cus i don’t give an eff. judge me bitches cus HATERS GUNNA HATE. besides i figure i put up so many annoying status updates that people will either hide me on their newsfeed or delete me from their friends list. so anyway, this is my long-ass pointless story which is representative of me in real life where i tell stories and then people go “cool mary, can you tell it again?” and i hope you’re having a better night than i am, but probably not since you’re reading this. :)



2 Responses to “cReEpEr”

  1. francois February 24, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    dear mary,
    your blog made me pee myself. you are freaking hilarious. wish you went to ma schoollll

  2. MOM February 24, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    When do have time to study?

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